Lawyer Wellness

Wellness Wednesday: Try Positive Self-Talk

Michael 1 Comment

Last week, I encouraged people to make well-being a habit.  I did so in the context of next month’s  Well-Being Week in Law and the dozens of activities that the organizers recommend for those looking to improve their well-being.

Of course, with so many choices, it can be difficult to decide where to start.  To the extent that well-being starts within, and that each of us is (at least partly) responsible for our own well-being, one way to begin might be this: by being nicer to yourself. 

Cynthia Sharp and Rebecca Howlett run The Legal Burnout Solution.  Cindy and Becky are fantastic resources on issues related to well-being.  Earlier this year, they posted A Guide to Self-Compassion for Lawyers.  Early in the post, they wrote:

  • “While our client duties necessitate that a competent lawyer approach the practice of law with care and empathy for those we serve, many of us find it difficult to extend this same level of compassion to ourselves.”

I agree 100%.  Indeed, my experience is that many lawyers are their own worst critic.  Why?  I don’t know.  Honestly, knowing why is beyond the scope of what I do. Maybe it’s human nature.  Maybe it’s imposter syndrome.[1]  I don’t know.

What I do know is that Becky & Cindy’s posts includes three “practical steps for cultivating self-compassion.”  Two are mindfulness meditation and practicing gratitude.  Each is an excellent tip.[2]  However, I want to focus on the third: positive self-talk.

Discussing the importance of positive self-talk, Becky and Cindy shared the story of a lawyer named Briana.

  • “After struggling for months with depression and burnout, Brianna confided in a legal mentor about her feelings, including her increasingly negative self-talk. Brianna says it all clicked when her mentor asked her how she would approach a friend going through a similar situation. ‘Suddenly, it was like a light bulb went off. I would never talk to a friend the way I was treating myself.’”

Bingo! 

My guess is that many of us can relate. I can.  Just a few weeks ago I was upset with a run that left me thinking “what is wrong with you Mike? Why can’t you run like you used to run? Get tougher!” Then, I realized that I’d never say the same to a friend who expressed discouragement with a race result. Ever since, I’ve noticed small, incremental improvement.  All because I decided to talk to myself like I would to a friend.

For more on adding positive self-talk to your repertoire, check out Becky and Cindy’s post.

As always, let’s be careful out there.

[1] Other posts on imposter syndrome include Engage Intellectually. And, you are not impostor and Venue, The Electric Slide, and Imposter Syndrome.

[2] In January, I posted Wellness Wednesday: Practicing Gratitude Can Improve Your Well-Being.  Among other things, I’m grateful that there are people like Becky & Cindy working to improve the profession!

Previous Wellness Wednesday Posts

Habitual Well-Being

Michael 2 Comments

If you only have time to read one line today, let it be this: consider making well-being a habit.

Now, for anyone with time for more, the rest of the story.

Well-Being Week in Law (WWIL) begins on May 6. From the website, it’s “aim . . . is to raise awareness about mental health and encourage action and innovation across the profession all year-round to improve well-being.”  The emphasis on “all year-round” is mine.  That’s because my hope continues to be that legal professionals make well-being a habit, not just something in which to dabble for a few days in May.

As a coach and runner, I’ve long believed not only in the importance of developing good habits but also in the notion that whatever we do – whether good or bad – we get good at it. For example, almost six years ago, I posted Make Wellness A Habit.[1]  Here’s an excerpt:

“As most of you know, I used to coach high school basketball.  Any coach will tell you this: whatever you do every day in practice, that’s probably what your team will be good at doing.  If you shoot a lot, your team will probably shoot well.  If you work a lot on plays against a zone defense, your team will probably execute its zone offense well.  If you do a little of a lot, but not a lot of any one thing, your team will probably be okay at a lot, but not very good at much of anything.

The same goes for incorporating wellness and mindfulness into your workplace.  If you want wellness and mindfulness to be part of your workplace culture, you must practice them.  Not just talk about wellness for 50 minutes at the firm retreat.  Not just mention mindfulness at every other staff meeting.  But do them.

Every. Single. Day.“

In other words, improvement happens when working to improve becomes a habit.[2]

Of course, making something a habit can be difficult.  Which brings me back to WWIL.  And, again, I’ll turn to the WWIL website:

  • “This year’s overall theme is Well-Being Reboot: A Fresh Start for Positive Change. It embodies two key ideas: (1) a clean slate to start/restart our well-being action plans and (2) behavior change toward greater well-being.”

With respect to “fresh starts,” the organizers write:

  • “Fresh starts make us feel like we can turn the page on our past failures. They also give us a chance to diagnose the reasons why our new habits aren’t sticking. This research inspired our WWIL theme. Many of us make well-being resolutions in January. By May, if our busy lives have gotten in the way of our big intentions, we may benefit from a reboot. We’d like to think of WWIL as a Well-Being New Year. We can put our failures behind us and celebrate a fresh start for building the healthy lives we really want.”

That is, WWIL’s “reboot” theme gives all of us who have dabbled in wellbeing but not yet made it a habit a chance to start anew.

Each day during WWIL focuses on a discrete aspect of well-being.

The website is chock full of tips to address each day’s focus.  Tips that, if made into habits, will improve your well-being.

So, back to the opening line: consider making well-being a habit.  

Look at the tips.  I’m sure you can find one that interests you.  Would one (or more) for each day be good?  Yes. But even just one – from even just one of the days — will be a great start.  From there, make it habit.

Indeed, if charged with looking out for your own well-being, may you plead guilty to being a habitual offender.

As always, let’s be careful out there

[1] I just noticed that I posted it on July 18.  That’s my birthday. (Cancers rock! Cancer doesn’t. Trust me – I know both to be true.) Anyhow, for the life of me, I cannot imagine what made me think that celebrating my birthday by working on a well-being blog was good for my well-being!

[2] For more, check out Healthline’s Habits Matter More Than You Might Think – These Tips Can Help The Good Ones Stick or MindTools and The Power of Good Habits.

Previous Wellness Wednesday Posts

Wellness Wednesday: Practicing Gratitude Can Improve Your Well-Being

Michael 1 Comment

In last Friday’s post, I shared my resolution to express gratitude more often in 2024. I included a link on how to do so that is not directly related to the legal profession. Today, I write to follow-up with a message from a lawyer regarding Friday’s column, as well as to share a link to a blog post on practicing gratitude by two attorneys who are among the leading voices on lawyer well-being.

Practicing gratitude can be difficult. Both as lawyers and in our personal lives, we often find ourselves in situations where it is hard to discern anything for which to be thankful.

But remember – you can do hard things 

Indeed, one Vermont lawyer is practicing what I preached. Here’s the lawyer’s response to the thoughts I shared last week on gratitude:

  • “I love the reminder about gratitude! I’ve been thinking about that topic myself. Lately, when I’m complaining about something in my head and notice I’m doing it, I stop complaining and think, ‘Thank you.’ I don’t yet know what I’m thankful for – I just say it. Then something pops into my head, usually a reverse of whatever I’ve been complaining about in my head. For example, I was grumpy about going to work recently, and I was thinking, ‘I don’t want to go deal with other people’s problems.’ I noticed the grumbling and then thought, ‘Thank you.’ Then, after I thought thank you, this popped into my head: ‘Thank you that I have a job that matters. Thank you that I can help people with things they really need. Thank you I get to serve my community.’ It sounds hokey, but it’s often quite effective.”

I love it!  And it is NOT hokey! Indeed, when it comes to employing strategies to improve well-being, NOTHING that is effective is hokey. 

Rebecca Howlett and Cynthia Sharp are lawyers who together founded The Legal Burnout Solution.  Their website is a fantastic resource for material related to well-being in the legal profession. (Full disclosure: last September, Becky and Cindy had me as a guest on their podcast. It’s here.)

In December of 2022, the ABA Journal published The Legal Burnout Solution: How to Improve Well-Being Through Gratitude. In the article, Becky and Cindy provide an overview of the “several realms in which scientists have shown the correlation between a gratitude practice and positive outcomes on our physical and mental health.” They go on to provide tips on “cultivating gratitude.”  I recommend reading the post and considering whether to take up (or maybe add to those you already employ) even one of the suggested practices. As Becky and Cindy conclude:

  • “As you do these gratitude practices, notice how your body and mind feel and focus on feelings of appreciation and thankfulness for all the blessings and abundance in your life. Strive to take this feeling and state of being with you as you go on with your day or drift off to sleep. Even instituting one of these practices on a consistent basis can lead to significant, positive effects on your overall health and well-being.”

Might it be hard?  Yes.  But again, you can do hard things.

As always, let’s be careful out there.

PS:  We’re almost up to 50 legal professionals who have taken The Well-Being Pledge.  To join them, all you have to do is email me!

Related Posts:

Wellness Wednesday: You Can Do Hard Things.

Michael 1 Comment

You can do hard things.

Let’s do it together. On the count of 3, and either out loud or in your head, tell yourself “I can do hard things.”

One, two, three: I can do hard things!

I don’t remember how or where I stumbled upon the mantra. Most likely it was suggested to me by Instagram’s algorithm. It’s a phrase in which I wholeheartedly believe.

I first employed it while training for a marathon. 

  • It’s hard to get up early every single day to run before work. 
  • It’s hard to get through yet another speed workout.
  • It’s hard to get up yet another hill.
  • It’s hard to keep going when nothing in your mind or body wants to.

So, whether lying in bed at 4:30 AM, or doubtful that I had another “fast” quarter mile in me, or at the bottom of the steepest hill of the run, I started to tell myself “I can do hard things.”

And you know what?  When faced with the situations above, reminding myself that I can do hard things helped me to get way better at:

  • Dragging my butt out of bed to hit the pavement before sunrise.
  • Finishing a full set of 400-meter repeats.
  • Not walking up the hill.
  • Going the final mile or two.

Most importantly, I came to believe that I could do hard things. 

Ever since, the belief hasn’t only stayed with me in my running, it’s spread to other areas of my life.  I’ve often repeated the mantra in both my professional & personal lives. As it did with my running, it has helped me to get through situations upon which I might previously have quit.

What’s this got to do with wellness?

It’s HARD to look out for our own well-being and the well-being of our colleagues!

As individuals, it’s hard to achieve (or come close to achieving) work-life balance.  It’s hard to do things like sleep enough, pursue an interest outside the law, not have that extra drink on a Tuesday night, or, take time away – truly away – from work & clients & opposing counsel.

But you can do hard things.

Similarly, it’s hard to muster the courage to ask a colleague if they need help. Or to intervene with a colleague who clearly does.

But you can do hard things.

In closing, I’ll give you a place to start.

Is it hard to stay late at work to finish a project on deadline when doing so will cause you to miss an important personal or family event? Yes.

But I’d wager that nearly everyone reading this post has done so at some point in their legal career.  If you have, then, in a sense, you’ve shown you’re capable of doing hard things.

So, over the holiday season, there will come a time when, despite your best efforts to convince yourself otherwise, the work can wait. When that time comes, it will be hard to call it a night, pursue a semblance of work-life balance, and leave the work for tomorrow. But remember: you can do hard things.

As always, let’s be careful out there.

And let’s be kind to ourselves & others, no matter how hard it might be.  Because, one last time: one, two, three:

I can do hard things!

P.S. — I’m updating the post to include my most recent “First Day of ______” picture. Here’s Chemo: First Day of Round 3:

Related Material

Wellness Wednesday: A Simple Pledge

Michael

Family first! Happy Birthday Dad!

Now, on to business.

The ABA Well-Being Pledge launched in 2018.  Adopted to “challenge the status quo,” the pledge self-describes as a “campaign of innovation to improve the substance abuse and mental health landscape in the legal community.”  Pledges agree to support a 7-point framework that was designed to “reduce substance abuse disorders and mental health distress in the legal community.”  The pledge and the 7-point framework can be found here.

I think the ABA Pledge is fantastic and I fully support the important work done by those who conceived of it.  Among them, Patrick Krill, one of the leading voices on issues related to the well-being of the legal profession.  A few weeks ago, Patrick shared his thoughts on the pledge’s anniversary in this post for the ABA Journal.[1] I encourage Vermont’s legal professionals to review the pledge and to consider taking it.

That said, and perhaps spurred by my effort to use the 7 Cs of Legal Ethics to simplify the Rules of Professional Conduct, I’ve wondered if a pared down version of the pledge might be more to Vermont’s scale.  I think the answer is “yes.”  Here’s what I propose for Vermont. 

  1. I pledge to look out for my own well- framework being.
  2. I pledge to look out for the well-being of colleagues in Vermont’s legal community.

If you agree, email me and I’ll add your name to this blog’s newest page.

For more information on how to look out for your own well-being and the well-being of colleagues, visit my resources page.  I’m a big fan of the ABA’s Well-Being Toolkit for Lawyers and Legal Employers, as well as its companion, the Well-Being Toolkit in a Nutshell: 80 tips for Lawyer Thriving.

Be kind to yourself.  Be kind to others.

Peace.

PS:  a few weeks ago, in footnote 3 to this post, I remarked that I might use my chemo sessions to post pictures reminiscent of the social media phenomenon “first day of grade ___.”  From Monday, here’s Chemo: First Day of Round 2.

[1] Patrick noted: “Now, as we look ahead to 2024 and beyond, we find no shortage of looming stressors and ongoing problems that continue to threaten our mental health and diminish our well-being. Life is changing, but it isn’t getting easier. As a result, the five-year anniversary of the pledge marks an important and appropriate time to simultaneously celebrate the progress the campaign has enabled while redoubling our efforts and committing to do more.”  In other words, our work continues.  Indeed, as I wrote in We’ve Only Just Begun to Begin, Patrick and I share the same sentiment in a related context.  

RELATED POSTS

The Library of Wellness Wednesday posts

Well-Being & Wellness Videos

HELP: Wellness & Well-Being Resources

Wellness Wednesday: A Positive Approach

Michael 2 Comments

Yesterday’s trip home from Boston was a big for me. 

First, it was during the drive that I committed to sharing my thoughts on the Taco Bell petition. Fewer than 24 hours after going live, the post is already one of the more well-received in the history of Ethical Grounds.

Second, on the way back, I stopped in Montpelier to present a wellness seminar for the Washington County Bar Association.  The discussion reinvigorated me and left me convinced that our work on wellness is both work well done and work worth continuing to do.

Until meeting with the members of the WCBA, I’d been in a bit of a wellness rut.  In May and June, I presented several CLEs on the topic as lawyers hustled to satisfy their reporting obligation. I noticed a distinct wellness fatigue.  It manifested in remarks like:

  • “I’ll do wellness on my own, don’t force me to do it.“
  • ‘Talking about how unwell the profession is makes me worse, not better.”
  • “We listen to you tell us that wellness is so important, so how come we don’t get CLE credit for the things we do to take care of ourselves?”

Trust me, I get it. And I will do whatever anyone asks of me to amplify their concerns with the Court and MCLE Board.

What I won’t do is stop presenting on wellness & well-being.

I arrived at Café Noa (a great spot for a CLE) nervous that it’d be another vent session.  It wasn’t. Rather, it was an uplifting conversation that showed me that our work on wellness & well-being has resulted in a healthier bar. 

Examples:

  • The lawyer who observed that connecting wellness & well-being to the duty of competence has provided a platform that allows supervisors to remind staff and younger lawyers of the importance of self-care.
  • The lawyers who shared their strategies to combat work addiction – that is, strategies they’ve adopted to allow themselves truly to be present in whatever they’re doing when they’re away from work.
  • The many lawyers who, when I asked the group to identify the 5 pillars of our overall well-being, instantly responded “physical well-being.”  And, from there, the many more who shared the steps they’ve taken to incorporate physical well-being into their routines.
  • When I asked what another of the pillars might be, the lawyer who immediately replied, “emotional well-being.”  It’s my favorite of the pillars to discuss and we had a lively give & take on the importance of (1) recognizing that we will experience negative emotions; (2) identifying those emotions & accepting that it’s okay to experience them; and (3) realizing that while we cannot necessarily control what caused the negative emotion, we can always control our response thereto.

Those are but a smattering of the many inspiring comments that WCBA members shared.

Here’s how the discussion left me feeling.

Maybe some of the wellness fatigue has been my fault.  It’s not uncommon for me to harp on the sobering statistics and to share the saddest of stories.  I’d grow tired of me too.

Instead, what I should be doing is what the WCBA did yesterday.  We focused on the positive and shared thoughts on keeping ourselves well.  And “keeping ourselves well” is exactly what all this is supposed to be about.

On that, kudos to Sidney Collier.  When Sidney invited me to speak, she asked me to present the “positive side” of wellness. That’s not typical – usually offices and groups ask me to stress why wellness is so important. So, as requested, I do, using the startling statistics that reflect the extent to which behavioral health issues pervade the profession.

The positive approach was better.  Sid – thank you!  It’s the approach I plan to employ going forward.

Also, many thanks to Heather Devine.  Heather introduced me to the group yesterday and has long-supported not only my wellness work as bar counsel, but my own personal wellness efforts.  Heather is one of two lawyers whose encouragement resulted in the video chronicle of me teaching myself to make bread.  And here’s the follow-up video in which I begged not to be disbarred from the ranks of the bread makers for violations that were completely of my own doing and for which Heather is entirely blameless.

And, last but not least, thank you to the members of the WCBA who attended.  As of 12:29PM yesterday, I’d let doubt start to creep in.  It’s gone.  To learn about so many lawyers & legal professionals taking steps to improve their own health as well as the health of their colleagues & co-workers was inspiring.  Especially given that it wasn’t that long ago that yesterday’s discussion was one that we avoided — and one that by avoiding, we created too many statistics.

We’ve come a long way.  We’re healthier for it.  And there’s no reason that we should stop now.

Related Material

On wellness, a lawyer’s story shows that we must continue the work to destigmatize our teammates’ help-seeking behavior.

Michael

Two weeks ago, Lawyers with Depression posted The Trials & Tribulations of a Trial Lawyer with Depression.  I’m not going to describe or summarize it.  If you have time, please read it.  Everything that follows is in response to the anonymous lawyer’s post.  Also, “everything that follows” comes down to four words:

We must do better.

Last summer, the Institute for Well-Being in Law ran Ben Carpenter’s Making Well-Being an Expectation in Attorney-Client Relationships.  Carpenter wrote:

  • “There is a stigma around well-being, as if adopting behaviors that support well-being may compromise a lawyer’s ability to provide exceptional service. Well-being is a responsibility, not a luxury, that is an integral component of our collective ability to satisfy our duty of competency.  Adopting behaviors that support well-being is not only necessary to the profession, but it makes us better lawyers.”

Similarly, a key theme in the 2018 State Action Plan issued by the Vermont Commission on the Well-Being of the Legal Profession is the need to destigmatize help-seeking behavior.  As the Commission’s Legal Employers Committee succinctly recommended:

  • “Legal employers should establish a confidential reporting procedure for lawyers and staff to use internally and establish a procedure for lawyers to seek confidential help for themselves without being penalized or stigmatized.”

I could cut & paste forever, from a variety of sources and voices.  But without action, the recommendations are mere platitudes, and we will continue to learn of experiences like the anonymous lawyer’s. So, I’m keeping this post short.

  • To legal employers:  Empower and encourage your employees to seek help without stigma.
  • To legal employees:  It’s okay not to be okay.  It’s okay to ask for help. Help is available.

As noted in the ABA Well-Being Toolkit for Lawyers and Legal Employers, “We are happiest and healthiest when we adopt healthy work habits and lifestyle choices. Importantly, though, we won’t be successful on our own. Well-being is a team sport.”

Let’s continue to work to become the best team we can be.

Resources:

Related Posts:

Improving wellness 10 minutes (and one small bite) at a time.

Michael

I present a lot of CLEs in May and June. Many of the seminars include a “wellness” component.  This year, I’ve noticed a new dynamic to the wellness discussion.

To be clear, we’re at a place where people agree that self-care and work-life balance are critically important to fending off the stress and anxiety that comes with the profession. That’s a good thing.  Unlike 5 years ago, when some grumbled that “wellness” isn’t part of legal ethics or professional responsibility, I never leave a wellness seminar worried about the reception to the message. 

But what I’ve noticed during the seminars is this.

Despite recognizing the need to look after their own well-being, many people expressed concern about finding the time to do so.  Demands on their time – whether work or personal – can be such that the thought of even trying to fit wellness into the schedule seems too daunting.

Until this week, my only response was to remind people something to the effect of “experts will tell you that you must find the time and that if you don’t, you’ll be at risk of your stress morphing into burnout.” A perfectly fair (and common) response is “Mike, easier said than done.”

Then, a few days ago, I stumbled across The Rule of 10: A Simple Training Tip That Will Change Your Running.  Writing for Trail Runner Magazine in May 2022, Nicholas Triolo explained:

“The Rule of 10 was something I first heard of while running through Portland, Oregon’s Forest Park with friend and decorated ultrarunner Jennifer Love. We were discussing motivation.

‘When nothing else seems to work,’ she said, ‘I call forth the Rule of 10.’

‘The Rule of 10?’ I said between labored breaths.

‘The Rule of 10.’ Love explained that, despite its simplicity, no matter what life brings you can nearly always complete ten minutes of activity. ‘If I’m ever feeling like I just can’t do a run, I always give myself ten minutes. And if, after ten minutes, I will want to quit, then I’ll turn my train around and stop running.’”

Triolo went on:

“The point was this: Whenever things feel heavy, think bite-sized, something author James Clear Clear is known for underscoring in his book, Atomic Habits (one of marathon world-record holder Eliud Kipchoge’s favorite books of all-time). ‘When making plans, think big. When making progress, think small,’ writes Clear. ‘Every action you take is a vote for the kind of person you want to be.’”

What a great concept!

If incorporating wellness into your routine seems daunting, follow the advice from Triolo and Clear: think small, like bite-sized portions.  As Jennifer Love said to Triolo, I’m guessing you can always find 10 minutes.  Start there.  Small? Maybe.  But it’s ten more minutes than zero minutes.

As I drafted this blog, the message seemed familiar. Then, it struck me.

Five years ago I posted “Lawyer Wellness: resolve to find 6 minutes for yourself.”  In it, I referred to Jeena Cho, who has long been a leading voice in the attorney wellness movement. In 2018, the ABA Journal published Jeena’s Mindful Mediation: an achievable resolution for lawyer well-being.  As Jeena points out, even only 6 minutes per day can help to improve well-being.

Wait a minute . . . I just negotiated against myself!!! Only a few paragraphs ago I was suggesting that you find 10 minutes, and here I am down to 6!

Anyway, you get the point.

Does working on well-being seem daunting? It needn’t be.  Start small, with bite-sized portions.

Future You will thank You.

As always, let’s be careful out there.

RESOURCES

Previous Wellness & Well-Being Posts

What first anniversary will you celebrate a year from now?

Michael

Today is an important anniversary.  But first, some background.

This week is Well-Being Week in Law. Conceived and promoted by the Institute for Well-Being in Law, the event’s goals are “to raise awareness about mental health and to encourage action and innovation across the profession to improve well-being.” 

Each day focuses on a different aspect of wellness:

Today’s focus is Intellectual Well-Being and the importance of continuing to engage & grow. As I blogged on this day last year:

“Continuing to grow intellectually is an important component of our overall well-being. We should strive to grow both at work and in our personal lives.

For instance, at work, you might resolve to wade into a new area of law. Or, take a pro bono case in an area that you don’t typically practice. Remember, even if the area is new to you, the person you’ll help is far better off with your assistance than they would be if left to their own devices.

Similarly, in your personal life, stagnation doesn’t do much for well-being. We need new interests and challenges.”

Which (finally) gets me to the important anniversary.

In 2022, I marked Wednesday of Well-Being Week in Law by learning how to make bread.  The video of my effort is here.  

Happy Anniversary!

This year, I’m approaching Well-Being Week in Law a bit differently than I have in the past. My goal is to promote the idea that improved well-being comes not from a single day or week, but from creating, fostering, and nourishing healthy habits.  To that end, here’s this year’s video in which I share thoughts on engagement, growth, and intellectual well-being.

Here’s a tip I forgot to include in the video.

Had I not informed people of my 2021 commitment to learn how to make bread, I doubt I’d have stuck to it. However, sharing the goal with others created a sense of accountability. If you’re the same way, feel free to share your plans for intellectual growth. I’m more than willing to encourage you as you strive to convert plans to habits.

Here’s to a first anniversary in 2024!

Wellness Wednesday: Remembering John Webber

Michael 1 Comment

We lost another of the good ones.

John Webber passed away last week. John’s obituary highlights his many accomplishments, including his Ted Williams-esque feat of capturing the Triple Crown of bar presidencies: Rutland County Bar Association, Vermont Bar Association, and New England Bar Association.  A true giant of Vermont’s legal community, I’ll remember John for many qualities, most notably his steadfast commitment to both wellness and professionalism.

When it comes to the well-being of the Vermont legal profession, to call John a pioneer would be an understatement.  Long before any of us used or heard the phrase, John was “lawyer well-being.”  In 1986, he founded the Vermont Lawyers Assistance Program, an organization that he directed for many years.  Before and after it existed, John helped countless lawyers to address behavioral issues.

Think about that: 1986.

These days, we openly acknowledge the profession’s well-being (and lack thereof).  We’ve worked to destigmatize help-seeking behavior and to decouple assistance from discipline.  We’ve made clear that it’s okay to ask for help and that help is available.

Indeed, in one sense, recognizing and discussing the importance of wellness & well-being has become rather chic.

I was only in college, but I’m willing to bet it wasn’t too chic in 1986.

The progress we’ve made? The path we’re on now?  

John blazed the trail.  And he did so in an era that was far less receptive to the message. 

Thinking of John, I’m struck by an aspect of his efforts on behalf of fellow lawyers.

Today, we devote a lot of time and energy to systems and programs. To questions like:

  • who should provide the help?
  • how should we pay for it?
  • what type of programs qualify for wellness credit?

Yes.  These are important questions that John would want asked, debated, and answered.  But as we do, let’s not lose the forest for the trees. 

Before he started VTLAP, John helped lawyers in need.  He continued to do so after the program’s creation, sometimes even outside the very parameters he’d put in place.  In other words, John wasn’t driven by or wed to a particular system or program.  He was driven by a desire to help people.  John helped others when he could, however he could, because he could.

And that’s what’s important: helping others. 

So, as we continue to improve on the systems we have in place, let’s not lose sight of our objective. We’d do well to emulate John’s basic instinct to help others – even if there’s no formal process to follow when doing so.

Turning to professionalism, I met John in the early 2000s.  At the time, I was the disciplinary prosecutor and he occasionally represented lawyers who were under investigation. He was never anything but calm, kind, polite, and professional.

Now, maybe you’re thinking “of course he was Mike! He wanted to get the best outcome for his clients!”

I don’t doubt that he wanted the best for his clients.  But that’s not why John was always calm, kind, polite, and professional. 

John was that way because that was his way.  Trust me, I’m not the only one who noticed. 

In 2006, the American Inns of Court and the United States Court of Appeals for the Second Circuit selected John – from all the lawyers in the circuit — to receive the Professionalism Award.  Similarly, in 2009, the Vermont Bar Association honored John with its own Professionalism Award.

Again, it’s how John was.

I remember a particular visit to John’s office.  There to discuss misconduct allegations against one of his clients, we spent most of the meeting talking about one of John’s passions: sailing.  At the time, I didn’t know (or care) much about sailing.  Yet, as we chatted, I found myself more and more interested, enthralled by the depth of John’s interest and knowledge. Thinking back, I’m not sure that our discussion ever turned to the complaint that I was there to investigate!

Of course, I’m sure that it did.  But here’s my point.

Thanks to VBA President Andrew Manitsky’s leadership, the Vermont bar has renewed its focus on civility and professionalism. In response to a VBA survey on civility, and again at a well-attended CLE on the same topic, many lawyers reported a perception that we lawyers don’t chit chat with, mingle with, or engage in small talk with opposing counsel anymore. We talk about our cases, but that’s it. The perception being that it’s tougher to be uncivil when you know someone as a person.

Whether the topic was sailing or another of his interests, John excelled at the art of the chit chat. He had a genuine ability – and desire – to treat and to know opposing counsel as another human being.  Yes, a human being who had a job to do for their client, but a human being nonetheless. 

That’s professionalism.  And, again, it was John’s way.

As with wellness, when it comes to civility & professionalism, we’d do well to emulate John.  The next time (or several) that you find yourself in a discussion with opposing counsel, mix in some chit chat about something other than the case.  If you do, John will be smiling somewhere.  Hopefully somewhere with a perfect view of a Bruins run to the Stanley Cup.

To John Webber.  May his examples live on.

Related Posts

Wellness Wednesday: Joan Loring Wing

Judge Peter Hall

Wellness Wednesday: R.I.P. Ray Massucco

Other Wellness Wednesday Posts