Five for Friday #99

Welcome to #99!

Before I get down to business, let’s talk about the weather.   Yes, it’s cold.  But, don’t worry: at least it’s a dry cold.

Now, let’s talk about 99.

Regular readers might expect me to use this space to wax poetic about Prince.

Wrong.

Surely, by now you know that I’m incapable of waxing poetic about anything.  And stop calling me Shirley.  Further, I did a Prince-themed quiz upon his untimely passing.

Instead, I’m going to take the easy way out, similar to what I did this week with my regular blog posts.  I’m going to use the fact that this column coincides with the year’s end to recap 2017’s most-read #fiveforfriday quizzes.

In reverse order:

#3:  Beatles v. Stones.  Last spring marked the 50th anniversary of the U.S. release of Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band.  In the days leading up to the anniversary, several readers asked if I planned to use the #fiveforfriday column to honor The Beatles and the album.   Ummm, no.  Instead, I used the occasion to honor The World’s Greatest Rock & Roll Band:  The Rolling Stones.  Pandemonium ensued, with chronic cases of Beatle-mania causing otherwise competent members of this bar to cite the column as proof that I should be disbarred.  The quiz is here, the answers here.

#2: Bar Counsel is a Swiftie.  The 2nd most-read #fiveforfriday quiz in 2017 was my confession to being a Taylor Swift fan. (it also included an ode to Tom Petty).  If being a Swiftie is a crime, I have three words for you:  guilty as charged!  The post generated a significant number of responses.  Some were Mean, leading me to conclude that some of my readers . . . well, let’s just say that We Will Never Ever Get Back Together.  But, I didn’t let the Bad Blood bother me, telling myself “Self, just Shake It Off.”  Not to mention, most responses were positive, with readers recognizing that the confession demonstrated my Style.  Or maybe they were just trying to curry favor in case their names ever end up in the Blank Space on a disciplinary complaint that lands on my desk.  The quiz is here, the answers here.

#1: My Cousin Vinny.   If there’s one thing that Vermont lawyers know about cross-examining witnesses, it’s that a jury simply cannot trust someone who claims to have cooked grits in 5 minutes when it takes the entire grit-eating world 20!  What, were those magic grits?? Oh, and Jerry Gallo? He’s dead!   The My Cousin Vinny-themed quiz got over 400 clicks on the weekend it was posted.  Making it, by far, the most read of the 2017 #fiveforfriday quizzes. Here’s to Positraction, Metallic Mint Green, and Utes! The quiz is here, the answers here.

Thanks for reading and participating!

Onto the 99th quiz!

Rules:

• None. You’re not even required to answer every question. And you don’t need to go 5 for 5 to make the honor roll!
• Team entries welcome.  (think: “wisdom of crowds”)
• Creative team names encouraged & appreciated.
• Please consider sharing the quiz with friends & colleagues, even non-lawyers!
• social media hashtag is #fiveforfriday
• E-mail entries to michael.kennedy@vermont.gov
• I’ll post the answers sometime early next week
• REMEMBER:  Folks – in the spirit of celebrating a new year, these questions are FOR FUN!

Question 1

Regular readers know that I’m obsessed with fond of “tech competence.”  Today, one of the final days of 2017, a search on “tech competence” produces theses posts.

Harken, for a moment, back to the final days of 1999.  At the time, “tech competence” was, in a way, very much in the news.  What was the name given to the tech issue that many expected to cause widespread calamity as soon as ’99 ended?

Question 2

In ’99, a TV show that focused on the law firm Cage & Fish won the Primetime Emmy for Outstanding Comedy.  The main character joined the firm after leaving her previous job as a result of being the victim of sexual harassment.  On her first day at the new job, she was stunned to learn that her ex worked at the firm too.

In a poll conducted by the ABA in 2010, the main character was named one of the top 25 “greatest fictional lawyers not named Atticus Finch,” and was the highest-ranked female lawyer on the list.

Name her.

Question 3

In a previous quiz, I included a question on Jay-Z’s 99 Problems.  Believe it or not, and having mentioned The Beatles, in 2004, Danger Mouse released The Grey Album.  It was a mashup of  songs from The Beatles White Album with songs from Jay-Z’s Black Album. Danger Mouse mashed 99 Problems with Helter Skelter.

Helter Skelter reminds me of a real-life attorney who some might say was “ethically challenged.”

Irving Kanarek represented a notorious client in a criminal trial that began in 1971.  The client was charged with conspiracy to commit multiple murders.  During the trial, Kanarek:

• objected 9 times during the prosecutor’s opening statement;
• was found in contempt 4 times;
• spent 2 nights in jail for contempt;
• gave a 7 day closing argument; and
• had the judge tell him he was “totally without scruples, ethics, and professional responsibility.”

Who was Kanarek’s notorious client?

Question 4

On behalf of Client, Attorney sent a letter to Potential Defendant.   Attorney received a response that included the following statements:

I was dreamin’ when I wrote this
So sue me if I go too fast
But life is just a party
And parties weren’t meant to last

Who is Potential Defendant, and what does Potential Defendant intend to do this weekend?

Question 5

One of 1999’s most notable events was a 5-week trial in which a lawyer was charged with perjury and obstruction of justice.  The lawyer was acquitted of both charges.  The vote on the perjury charge was 55-45.  The vote on the obstruction charge was 50-50.

Name the lawyer.

Bonus: name the judge who presided over the trial.

Finally, as a blogger who often writes about the duty of competence, it’d be incompetent of me to post a 99-themed blog without mentioning one of the most gloriously incompetent tv characters of all time, Maxwell Smart, and his partner, Agent 99.